My ass has been spotted!

Due to my ass showing up on all sorts of websites nowadays I’ve started getting some leads on where it might be. I thought I’d share some with you.

“i feel compelled to let you know that your ass has been spotted at the embassy of great britain in washington DC.

it was crossing the street in a very quick manner as if it was running from something… or someone!

i hope this tip has been helpful and that it will aid you in your search.

may you find your ass in good health.

peace and love”

“Not sure what, if anything I can offer other than moral support but I do wish you the best in your efforts to reclaim what appears to have been one hell of an impressive donk. Damned gypsies. On a comforting note, I am sure the replacement ass is not without a certain level of charm.

Schnoogins!”

I have an “impressive donk”. I love that shit. And finally, my favorite thus far: “I think you might be in luck! Your ass escaped her romanian gypsy camp in the fall of 2003, but not without heartbreak. You see, by the time it made it to the resistance group she had already lost much of her spirit. Years after sitting around mourning the loss of her fallen asses back in the labor camps had made her fat and saggy. That all changed when she met Renaldo. He tought her to love again, to live. She got her ass off the couch and started to become active again and to stop crying about her fat posterior. They lived happily ever after. Until Renaldo got hit by a train.” This is the reason that I do things like post missing ass posters.