ass log: The End

This posting has been in my draft folder for about a week and I finally have a chance to complete it and post it. My apologies.

The words “It’s Over!” carried through the house! I told her that we should separate! The insecurities and the accusations have finally overflowed! I am not going to live with and be married to someone that doesn’t trust me, doesn’t believe me and I damn sure have no trust or belief in anything she tells me. She says she loves me but yet in the same breath tells me that I am cheating on her and I am not telling her the truth!

I have devoted 14 years to this woman. 2 years of asking her to go out with me. almost 12 years of marriage. Not once did I stray! Not once did I do anything to break any trust or the ability to believe what I say! Yes! I said I think it would be a good idea to separate! Her comeback: “I’m not gonna comeback to you after you go out and have your fun and screw around.” WTF??? In my mind, a separation was a chance for both parties to be away from each other so they could think about things. Life. Marriage. What they wanted. Etc. Apparently I was wrong. Apparently (according to her) it a chance for me to go out a screw around and not feel guilty!

This choice was not one that was easy to be made. This choice was a difficult choice because of my 2 girls (7 and 11). I have always had the interest of my kids at heart. I don’t care what happens to me, as long as they are not hurt or effected. They need to be happy. Although in a time like this, it’s a little harder but all I can do is try to make it easier and listen and talk to them. This is not a easy time for them. It sucked for my brother and I when my parents went through it. I can understand what and how and all the feelings that come along with it. I just want to be there for them!

So my marriage is all but over. She is staying through the holidays and then she is out! She keeps at me about everything! I am starting over too! I am keeping the house that I have been paying for by myself for the past 3 years! I am keeping my car! The only other thing I would argue would be the TV and my PS3. Come on! The kids are already a given!

She can whatever else she wants to take. beds, furniture, etc. She keeps telling me, “This is what you want.” I don’t ever recall uttering the words divorce! My words were separate! She took the next route and then tells me, “I will not be keeping your name, I will go back to my maiden and I am going to be filing bankruptcy I can put the car on there so if anything happens they cannot touch it. My credit sucks, I have nothing but the girls and I will be starting from scratch.”

So what am to come back with? Good Luck?? I dunno. My first marriage, my wife left in the middle of the day after almost 1 year of marriage. She wanted to go back to being a whore! Yes, I was crushed! Yes, I cried for weeks! I eventually got over it and moved on! This marriage is ending after 11 (almost 12) years! Will I be crushed? I don’t think so. I think I am almost ready for it to happen and be over with. It’s not even worth me doing anything else to even try. The trust is gone. The love is gone. The disgust is here. From BOTH sides.

I will keep on. I will be here! I will be happy again!

Hopefully I won’t feel the need to post anymore about this subject. That’s another reason for the title! next will be more uplifting, positive, happy posts!!!!

And P L E N T Y of pics!!!!