Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Submissive

Exploring your submissive side is something new to you, and despite the submissive longings that you have, you are still a bit unsure as to what to expect. Keep in mind that nothing is usually just as you think it will be. Therefore, not only will you be in store for some pleasant surprises, you will probably encounter some not-so-pleasant surprises as well. After all, you have found a dominant who has the job of stretching your limits and taking you a bit out of your comfort zone.

At the point you have found a dominant, several things should already have been discussed. You should have discussed your likes and dislikes, your fantasies, and your reasons for exploring your submission. You should also have discussed any hard limits that you may have. A hard limit is a limit in which the dominant knows upfront not to try and push you in that particular area. You should also have established a safe word which your dominant knows you will use if you want a scene to immediately stop.

At the point you have found a dominant, you should also have an idea of what kinds of dominant/submissive play he / she is interested in. There are many areas to explore in the lifestyle, and he / she may be interested in a few or in all of them. This is important for you to know in the beginning.

After the ground rules of your dominant/submissive relationship have been established, here are some scenes you will most likely encounter as a submissive:

The blindfold. The blindfold has long been associated with erotica as well as with domination/submission. There are different kinds of blindfolds. Some are thick and cushioned. Some are leather or soft plastic. Some dominants may choose to tie a scarf around your eyes. The purpose of the blindfold is twofold. First of all, removing sight enhances your other senses. Secondly, it adds an element of fear and uncertainty…which is an aphrodisiac.

Bondage. Bondage is a huge part of dominant/submissive play. Submissives enjoy the feeling of being rendered helpless as they are at the mercy of their dominant. The dominant enjoys knowing that he /she is in total control. There are many different kinds of bondage. Your dominant may use ropes, chains, handcuffs, soft wrist and ankle restraints, or spreader bars. In using those items, they may use them in different rooms or places. They may use them on the bed, chain you to the wall or a chair. They may bind your legs, your arms or your breasts. It all depends on how creative they are. *Something your dominant should never do is place you in bondage and leave you alone.This is very unsafe. If something happens and you get sick or need help, nobody will be there to assist you and you will not be able to call for help. If a dominant ever tries to place you in bondage and leave, immediately use your safe word to let them know you want the scene to stop.

Spanking or whipping. Spanking has long been an erotic fantasy of many couples. There are nerve endings in the bottom that make this a huge sexual turn on. It is also a vulnerable position that makes the submissive feel very given to her dominant. What you need to know, as a submissive, is that your dominant will most likely want to take a regular spanking to a more intense level. Some of the implements you may encounter are the hand, flogger, paddle, belt, riding crop, wooden spoon, stick, and the cane. There is also a strong possibility that your dominant will choose to whip or spank areas other than just your bottom. So be prepared.

Kneeling. Plan on kneeling…a lot. When you are in a dominant/submissive relationship, you must remember that you are not an equal to your dominant. They are in control. When you are with them, you will not be considered on the same level. You may find yourself kneeling when they enter a room, when they are relaxing, or having dinner. You may also find yourself kneeling in order to pleasure them.

Sharing. It is common for a dominant to have more than one submissive. Do not go into a dominant/submissive relationship thinking you are the only one in his life. This is an unrealistic expectation. Some dominants have a girl / boyfriend who has no interest in the lifestyle as well as a submissive on the side. Some dominants are into having several submissives. Some dominants want to have play parties where all of the submissives are there together. If this is a strict limit you have, it would bid you well to find out your dominant’s preferences before you get into a relationship with them. You may enter a dominant/submissive relationship as the only submissive in their life, only to find down the road that they want to add another submissive. Be prepared for this.

Some dominants also want to share or watch their submissive with others. This is another area that you need to discuss before entering into a relationship with your dominant. *If you choose to participate in any sharing activities, please remember to always use safe sex.

There is a huge difference in having an occasional submissive fantasy and entering into a submissive lifestyle.

The submissive lifestyle can be very fulfilling if entered into with eyes wide open. Being informed of what may be expected of you is essential before committing to a dominant/submissive relationship.

Adrenalynn Halloween

Boots

Sticky

Spread

Stand

Domed

Fuck Yeah

Rimmed

Glisten

Sofa

Nylon

Let me walk in on this

Jerk It

Perky

Party

3 in the tub

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