I met Emma in a dingy little café while sitting down with my laptop and pretending to work on this website. Of course when she peered over, I lowered my screen. She accused me of looking at porn, and I told her that it was something much more incriminating. She giggled and I know it was over.
When I saw her through the window of the restaurant, she looked taller than I remembered, but I know how girls are with shoes on a first date. I have a conspiracy theory that it’s to get the upper hand, by trying to be as tall as possible. They build themselves to be bigger than they really are. I took a deep breath and walked in. When the waiter walked over she ordered a Gin Martini, and I was thankful that it wasn’t a Cosmo. Girls who order cosmos assure me one thing. They get their dating habits, rituals, and values from Sex & The City. And I hate Sex & The City.
So she passed my first test, ordering a drink I can respect. I ordered a beer, and we got to talking. She told me that she had been in the city for three years, a transplant from Ohio, and I had to share my harrowing Ohio road trip. But then again, any time you are on a road trip to anywhere, you are bound to encounter problems. It’s a law of nature. Like dumb blondes and Jager bombs. After an hour or so, we decided to take a walk, and get out of there.
Not two seconds out the door, Emma asks me to wait a minute that she wanted to go to the bathroom real quick. So I wait next to the door, and light a cigarette and engage in some light people watching. She walks out and almost right past me.
Congrats.
For.
You passed the tip test?
I’m sorry?
You tipped the waiter twenty percent. I used to be a waitress, that was a big factor in whether or not I was going to pretend to forget I had to meet my roommate.
I laughed at her, but couldn’t help but think how insanely neurotic it was. Apparently she has a steadfast rule against dating bad tippers. She brought up Groundhog’s day and six more weeks of winter, and I said I didn’t mind the cold, or the company I found in it. She then grabbed my hand and led me to the subway.
Ten minutes later I’m across town and in her favorite jazzy dive. It was still early yet, so we were the only people there. We kept talking and then she got a call from her roommate, who locked herself out. I laughed a paranoid laughter and asked her what I did. She kissed me hard on the lips a few times, reassuring me that it was just a freak coincidence. Despite the kissing, I’m still not entirely convinced if I blew it or not.
No comments:
Post a Comment